Tag Archives: God

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Remember… You Are Beloved!

sunrise-forest-you-are-beloved

The term “Beloved” means to be greatly loved. 

No one can love us like God. For He is Love as scripture describes.

God is love. 

1 John 4:16 NIV

God spoke the world into existence with love. Jesus is the greatest expression of God’s love for us. For those who believe and accept Him as their Savior, embraces the truth that His great love can live in us.

You, me, we… are His beloved children, undeserving of God’s love yet chosen to receive it.

So, in the midst of everything going on in the world today... the unknown, the uncertainty, and in the midst of any anxious thoughts, worries or fears, remember this…

You Are Beloved!

Hold on to this truth and be transformed by God’s Word as it declares that we are beloved, purposed, and cherished children of the one true God.

A Few Verses to Meditate On…

We love because he first loved us. “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” – John 15:9

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11:28

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. – 1 John 4:18-19

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:10

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10b

May God’s peace and protection be upon you and your family! ~ Tom

Trusting God during trials and in challenging times is not easy. And I don’t want to come across as having all the answers because there have been times when trusting God has been a struggle for me. But over the years I talked about those struggles along with some of the life lessons I’ve learned, and you can find those posts here.

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Leveraging Faith

iStockphotos © Michel de Nijs

Sixteen hours in a car driving to and from Indiana for a wedding last weekend afforded me a good bit of time to reflect on the first six months of 2011. In the moments when my family dozed, one thought emerged almost as often as overpasses appeared on the horizon:

I had not “paused” as often as I hoped to this year.

My first inclination was to go through a long list of excuses why, and those familiar with my story might consider most to be legitimate. Regardless of the excuses, though, one question lingered.

Is there a correlation between pausing and being grateful?

When you live your life at a pace life dictates, you miss what opportunities are present to go deeper, past those surface level observations. At the surface everything is a blur, much like when you lie in bed at night and the day just plays through your head like a movie preview trailer. But if you truly desire to see the real story being written by your life, you need to make an effort to look past the obvious and find the picture God is painting.

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Cancer Confessional – Behind the Mask

iStockphoto © PeskyMonkey

If you were to take the time to poll my family, my friends, and my co-workers asking them to describe my outlook on life, most if not all, would described me as an optimist…a glass half-full guy. Dig a little deeper into what makes me tick and spend a little time reading through my DISC profile (high D & I) you would learn that being an encourager is another characteristics which makes up who I am. Optimism and encouragement come naturally to me and throughout my career they have been utilized to build teams and help grow businesses.

However in the scope of writing blog such as Leveraging Life, I have a genuine concern, what comes naturally (optimism and encouragement) could be taken out of context or be misconstrued leaving readers with a false impression that I never have doubts, that I live my life without fear, or that I somehow trust blindly when facing trials or adversity. 

“saying trust God period and living trust God period are two totally different mindsets…one is contingent on circumstance and situation warranting that trust, and the other is influenced by a relationship which is nurtured through circumstance and situation creating an environment of trust.”   

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When God Winks On Love

when-god-winks-on-loveWhat you see here is what greeted Shari on the afternoon I proposed. Most people would say three weeks is just too short of period of time to plan a wedding.

We crammed a lot of life and so many experiences into those 21 incredible days leading up to our wedding day. Our decision to be married, despite the circumstances surrounding my cancer‘s return, was met with so many affirmations which lead us to move forward with our decision to be married in the Spring rather than later in the Fall.

Shari and I were were so grateful for the affirmation we received from family and friends who saw in us what we believed God was doing in our lives and in our courtship. We were also blessed by the God Winks which became apparent during this period and helped us to choose to become husband and wife on March 19, 2011.

The Greatest Day of My Life!

Regardless of the size wedding, planning and coordination are key when planning an event of this magnitude in one’s life . The planning should take in all the aspects which create memories which span a lifetime for you and your wife along with the special guests who attend.

Time usually is the best friend for the bride and groom in the planning as they have months to prepare for the big day. Unfortunately Shari and I didn’t have the luxury of time as circumstances dictated there were only 21 days for us to plan and celebrate our wedding day. Despite all the obstacles and the coordinating of all the logistics, somehow, everything all fell into place for us to be married.

when-god-winks-on-love-proposal

Our God Wink Story

Shari and I met in 2008 while we attended different locations (campuses) of North Point Church. We met, but for this part of our story it started and ended with this meeting.  Despite meeting then, both of us would go on our separate ways for the next two years but the meeting in 2008 would be an important footnote in our story which would come together two years later.

Random, Fate, or another God Wink

Fast-forward to the spring of 2010 where we both find ourselves in the North Point Church Singles environment called Fusion. Despite the odds Shari and I find ourselves placed same host home as opposed to the other five during this cycle. We believe the odds for us to be placed in the same host home twice in two years was astronomical and we believe this fate of our placement to be a big defining God Wink in our lives!

This time something clicked, and in our re-connection something was different; and we were different! As we came to know each other through the North Point singles ministry we also connected on another level as learned we had both battled cancer. It was through this connection we grew closer as news of my cancer spreading impacted both of our lives.

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Where are the God Winks?

when God winks book 

I think most of us were taught to view life through a lens where [ cause = effect ] or in other words, your efforts usually lead to your rewards. 

Think back to school…how hard you studied was reflected in the grade you received.

Fast forward to when you’re out of school, work hard, contribute to the overall company mission, give a 110%…you make a decent living, buy a nice house, and add something to your 401k each month.

Sure the journey can be easier when blessed with gifts and talents, but even blessings bear the weight of stewardship which requires making sound choices in our use of those talents and gifts. 

If not careful our education and the culture we become a part of leads us to believe we are self-made, which if unchecked, feeds our pride and inflates our egos in such a way we begin to believe we had no Spiritual help along the way. At some point in life there comes a time when we are forced to acknowledge those circumstances and the timing that was out of our control. Some say timing is a by-product of trust, and others believe fate is the result of faith.  Life at its simpliest level comes down to a choice about what we believe and Who we believe in. 

A God Wink is …an event or experience, often identified as coincidence, so astonishing that it could only have come from God…answered prayer.

I have a hard time seeing what God is doing in my life because I’m so caught up in doing life, and as a result I miss a lot of what should be evident. But having people in my life who know me and know God in their own personal way are quick to share with me what I fail to see. Another huge factor was when my Pastor at Buckhead Church shared his thoughts on what he called “connecting the dots”, something when done with the help of those friends illustrates the picture God is painting in my life. The first thing you must do is pause, my One Word for 2011,  at specific points of time each year to review where you’ve been and where you’re going. Basically for me it comes down to a simple question, am I in sync with God in the 5 F’s of my life, Faith-Family-Friends-Finances-Fitness? Sometimes the picture is crystal clear and I can see exactly where I’m going, and at other times only part of the picture is clear and that’s where your friends come in as God uses them to highlight some of the dots.

For example, this snapshot in time Family, Friends, and Finances are as clear as any other time in my life, but test results are painting a cloudy, obscure picture in the Fitness category…which causes me to pause and remember I’m not alone and my Heavenly Father wants me to Trust Him period and to place my Faith in Him and take comfort in the promise He is with me and Shari.

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Learning to Pause

A week ago I wrote about how I would be choosing to “pause “ more often this year as compared to years past and how “pause” would be my One Word for 2011.

Little did I know only a few days later nature, not health, would create the perfect “pause” situation for the entire metro Atlanta area and much of the Southeast.

The timing, situation, and scenario was perfect for me to implement my plan as snow and ice caused everything to slow down, or as in this case, grind to a standstill. As this photo indicates, nothing was moving, and despite managing a Subaru dealership (which has the best symmetrical all-wheel-drive system available), we were closed for one day and had limited schedules for most of the week to ensure the safety of our employees and customers with all the ice.

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Flight to Nowhere

I saw a bumper sticker like this last night and it got me thinking about the choices we make in life. God doesn’t force Himself on us, actually God gave us free will to choose the role we want Him to play in our lives. Experience tells me the times I’ve made my God my co-pilot tend to also be the times when I’ve had the most turbulence in my life.  Maybe things begin alright but usually when the turbulence starts I look up and realize I’m on a flight to nowhere. 

Another option to consider would be letting God be your pilot. Don’t ask God to play a role in your story, accept the role he has for you and take a seat. The humility in doing so acknowledges the simple fact that without Jesus there would be no choice.

Mercy and Grace is stamped on your boarding pass, are you flying the plane or enjoying the ride?

~Tom

trusting God period!

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Life Lessons Part 4-Fast Forward

As promised Fast Forward does just that, brings my merkel cell cancer journey to the present tense and picks up where Off Season left off.

New Season

A routine follow up on the skin graft of my hand afforded me the opportunity to ask my surgeon to look at the scar under my arm where they removed three lymph nodes in December. This for all practical purposes should have been a visual check and was initially, but in his words: “something told me to not only look at the scar but to also feel under the arm as well.” He said he felt a lump, but the look on his face told the story a biopsy later confirmed, that cancer was back in my life. A key thing not to miss and what I consider to be a blessing, had the surgeon only looked and not felt, most likely the cancer would have continued to spread unchecked for at least another six months when my next follow-up appointment was scheduled.

When cancer re-enters the picture you really can’t have another “Pin Drop” moment, but a fist through the wall moment is certainly justified. Unfortunately or fortunately there really isn’t too much time for that because your life becomes very scripted at that point and you follow the sequence laid before you. Biopsy’s bridge to scans, CT & PET; tests are followed by more tests confirming what your heart already knows. A script and a sequence are what you need to navigate those days because an idle mind is the breeding ground for doubt and fear….not only in the skills of your medical team but also in where God is in all this. The purpose of the scans was to see if cancer was present anywhere else including my organs and thankfully it was not. For me both scans lit up for cancer under my arm but in no other area of the arm. I took that as great news because that would have opened the door to a conversation that could have included the word amputation.

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Life Lessons part 3….Off Season

 Off- Season refers to the time between when my first round of radiation ended and the reemergence of cancer in my life this past June. 

Truth be told I never anticipated a second chapter to this story….and if I can be so arrogantly bold I thought my merkel cell story was Won & Done in April.

You would think with an attitude like that I’d been ready to climb the next mountain, tackle the next big project, restructure my life plan, but for me the off-season was a season of complacency. I withdrew, I went through the motions, and had I been honest should have acknowledged I was probably depressed. I expected everything to look different on this side of treatment, but the problem was I never changed the lens I viewed my life through.

Heal

I think it is important when you experience something similar to this, you allow time to regroup before immersing yourself back into routines. There can be an overwhelming urge for your life to return to normal, the only problem is what was normal before may not be normal now. Trauma is trauma (could be grief for a lost loved one, could be separation or divorce, could be job loss) and the mental rehabilitation may be more important than the physical rehabilitation with the results far less visible.

For me, not taking time to come to terms with how all this affected me minimized the effect it had on me which kept me from appreciating the potential for what God could do through me.

Wearing a yellow bracelet might signify I was a survivor……only problem was I didn’t feel like much of a survivor, only an existor. OK, existor is not a word, but it is the only term that describes the place I was in. Everything on my horizon lacked significance in my eyes. Sure I had family, friends, a job….more than what a lot of people could say, but I was also turning 46 and there were a lot of things left unchecked on my “to accomplish” list.

Focus

As I struggled, a key realization was brought to light when, in the span of 48 hours, I was reminded 3 times the opening line of Rick Warren’s book, Purpose Driven Life–“It’s Not About You”. My lack of purpose and significance stemmed from the fact I was trying to leverage my cancer experience for my benefit, rather than consider that God’s plan all along may have been to leverage my experience for His benefit. Each time “It’s not about you” was quoted it gave me a glimpse of what effect life with cancer could have on me and what God could do through me if my focus shifted from me and was leveraged where there was significance and purpose. 

This blog is not the significance I speak of, but it’s a component; doing my job better has purpose because that income facilitates what and where my focus can be leveraged. What the effect now looks like for me is being more intentional in all things and modeling what I believe. Survivor bracelets are great….they raise money, and they show support for the cancer community, but wearing something and being something are two different things.

Act

So before I place a bracelet on my wrist I need to do a little recasting of my DNA, that way the makeup of who I am and Who I serve will be the place I find purpose and I hope that will be the place God begins to leverage this experience. 

 

If what you’re committed to isn’t Who you’re surrendered you will have a tough time finding purpose in your life and an even tougher time finding peace-my life lesson.    

Is there something standing between you and the purpose your heart craves?

What is keeping you from removing those obstacles?

Let me know how or if I can help you!

~Tom

trusting God period

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Off Season  is part three in a series of posts called Life Lessons, all centered around life with cancer. Check back for Fast Forward which will bring this journey into the present tense.

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Cancer Life Lessons

No one issued me my cancer playbook when I got the news I had cancer. But I soon found out there were plenty of cancer life lessons to learn before my treatment season began.

cancer-life-lessons

Reactions vary when you get the news cancer has entered your world but most the reaction is some form of fight or flight. Those who lean toward flight can withdrawal or move into forms of denial as it takes time to process this news. Those lean toward fight can be using it to mask their denial. Either way you most process the news fully before moving forward in a healthy way. Looking back now, I know moved into the “fight” mode too quickly and did not process how the news of my diagnosis would impact my life. I simply thought I would beat it by powering through whatever cancer through at me. So much like preparing for a big football game, I said let’s do this…Game On!

Scouting

Most football teams have scouts who learn everything there is to know about the opponent with the hope of finding weaknesses that can be exploited. Research was my way of scouting merkel cell cancer (mcc), unfortunately there is little published about this relatively new type of cancer, and there is even less focus by the cancer community from an awareness and funding perspective due to the low number diagnosed each year. Despite the limited information, my scouting/research confirmed enough of what had already been discussed with the medical team I was assembling to move forward with my game plan of surgery, skin graft, sentinel node dissection, and 6 weeks of radiation.

 Team Meeting

Another component of my Game On involved those difficult conversations with family and friends who needed to be told. I approached those talks under the false belief, that if my attitude was positive and upbeat it might somehow lessen their concern and worry. In my eyes I did pretty well; as I had my facts together what mcc was and what the medical team planned to do about it, that was until I spoke with my brother Mike. As I was telling him the news in my best upbeat spiel, an image of my 3 nieces flashed in my mind followed by another image where I was missing their proms, graduations, and weddings. I’m not sure if he caught me starting to choke up, but I’d have to admit that was the shortest of all my Game On conversations.

Intangibles

Work was a different type of Game On, similar to a player trying to convince his coach that despite being at 80% he could still contribute to the win. For me it was important to reassure the owners of my company that I regarded this only as a bump in the road with minimal disruption at the dealership. But I knew it would open the door, and for the first time in my career, where my ability to do what they hired me to do would be evaluated not only on talent but also on availability, something I  had little say or control over.